THE TOP 10

Yesterday and today were pretty uneventful days at work, which led to a lot of article reading on the Blackberry. One of those articles was about a movie; one of my favorite movies, actually. Lists have also been popping up in my life lately, and as such, I decided to make one - my ten favorite movies. I'm not too great at writing 'reviews' as you can tell by my feeble attempt at Discovery's new album (music reviews are Rather's deal from now on, seeing as he's good at it), so I will add favorite quotes or characters or scenes or something from each. I like movies with good casts, good roles, good quotes, good writing, good music, and the most important factor - rewatchability (yes, another made-up word). I imagine this will get long, so consider yourself warned. In alphabetical order, because numerical is rather difficult... I will say that 1a and 1b are Almost Famous and Jerry Maguire. What do they have in common? Both written and directed by Cameron Crowe. Interesting.


ALMOST FAMOUS

First of all, it stars Kate Hudson, the love of my life (even though she's currently with King of the D-bags). And Kate Hudson isn't just in the movie, either. It's her best role ever. Hands down. Another fun fact about Almost Famous - it's the only movie I've ever seen in which the 'Director's Cut' version on DVD, in this case an extra 35 minutes, made the movie even better. The movie has so many money quotes and scenes it's unreal; and I really believe that any person in the world could watch it every day for the rest of their lives and not get sick of it.



"Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, 'Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me.' And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music."


BOONDOCK SAINTS

The movie is just bad ass. Period. And it reminds me of me and Jeffe a lot. Still waiting on the sequel... Come on already! It's been ten years!



"And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti."


FIGHT CLUB

Edward Norton kills it. So does Brad Pitt. The cinematography is amazing.



"Let the chips fall where they may."


GOOD WILL HUNTING

The only movie I've actually paid for on itunes. It's that good. Robin Williams and Matt Damon at their bests. And my favorite movie scene of all time (the one below).



"No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. And you're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time. "


JERRY MAGUIRE

Plot involving one of my dream jobs, the Cardinals, ASU, a solid love story that has the movie bordering on chick-flick. Cuba is so good he won his first Oscar. Too good.



"I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself 'Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!
- Rod...
I'm from Arizona Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man!
- And now you want Arizona dollars?
Exaaaacctly! "


LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN

I like movies that make you think. This is one of the better scripts I've ever run across and the movie also has a solid cast with Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, Josh Hartnett, and Lucy Liu. If you switched any one of those actors out for someone else, the movie would fall apart. There isn't a single one of them that I can come up with a replacement for. Says a lot about the script, director, etc.



"Hey, don't stop on my account."


OUT COLD

So funny. So quotable. So good. And a kick ass soundtrack. Zach Galifinakis and David Koechner are priceless. This is the beginning of Galifinakis' Hangover role.



"Well, yeah it doesn't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer. "


SNATCH

One of Brad Pitt's better performances, I think. And Jason Statham is always solid. Highly entertaining.



"You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity."


TOP GUN

It kind of bothers me that I have two Tom Cruise roles in my top 10. Dude is an assclown. But it is what it is, I guess. Another ridiculously good soundtrack (how it is not on any Top 100 Soundtracks lists boggles my mind). You've Lost That Loving Feeling and Great Balls of Fire (even if they're not officially on the soundtrack)? Take My Breath Away? Danger Zone? Hot Summer Nights? THE ANTHEM? Are you kidding?! This movie made me want to fly jets. Then they told me I was too tall. Nonsense. Watch it on BluRay; it will blow your mind.



"You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.
- That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous."


USUAL SUSPECTS

Another movie along the lines of Slevin that makes you think. Really well written. Won a couple Oscars. Some call it the American thriller of the nineties. Whatever that means. Kevin Spacey and Stephen Baldwin are my favorite two roles.



"What the cops never figured out, and what I know now, was that these men would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody. Anybody."

SPECIALIZATION IS FOR INSECTS

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Anson Heinlein

IT'S HOT HERE

Outside of CA and Italy for school, I've spent my entire life here in the Valley, and at this point I'm pretty used to the heat. I actually enjoy it from time to time. Sick, I know. However, there are days, maybe a dozen or so a year, that are just ridiculous hot. Today was one of those days. I mean STUPID hot. Why Jeffe, Chris, Mark and I chose to go spend our entire afternoon in the sunny, 115-with-humidity, I don't really know. But it probably has something to do with golf being one of the best things ever invented... Unlike crocs (absolutely awful). And twitter (certain lucky people get a free pass). Anyways, around 8:47pm tonight, and by around 8:47pm I mean precisely at 8:47pm, it was still 109 degrees. Yep. And now at nearly 1am, you ask? Oh you know, just 101. But the humidity is down to 23%! Woo!

ONCE UPON A TIME, I HAD PET DUCKS

Once upon a time, I had pet ducks. McLovin and Thunder Dan (named after the best their ever was, period). I don't know why, but I've always had a thing for ducks and kangaroos. Ducks I can't explain, they're just hilarious to me. But every now and then I have a dream where I've got a pet kangaroo and he carries my books to class in his pouch. Awesome. I have a ton of stories about that crazy pair, but I found this old story about the beginnings of Thunder Dan and McLovin, and thought I'd share it here... You know, because I don't have a whole lot else to talk about at the moment, and you don't really have anything better to do but read a 1,285-word story (that is, if you're spending your time here).

Welcome to My Life - The Wild Goose Chase
September 20, 2007

I guess it would be more appropriate to call it a duck hunt than a goose chase, because in reality, that's exactly what it is. Anyways, we all know that I want a duck, ducks to be precise, and I am going to get them. That's just the way it is. The adventure technically began a few days ago with a post on craigslist with me asking the animal lovers of LA where I might be able to acquire a duck. I got a handful of responses all leading me toward downtown LA. I did some legwork and called around, and no one sells damn ducks; they just don't. I guess I should have thought about this in advance, but that would be giving up, and I'm stubborn as hell. Anyways, the emailers said they could be found downtown, so that was where I was headed...

Well, where me and Alex were headed. I should have known how this day would go with the way it started, but whatever. Alex wakes me up with a call from campus around, ooh, 11 or so. He has a meeting til 12, yada yada. Oh wait, his car is here, and his keys are at the girls' house. So, me and Brenden have to drive to the girls' house, where Arianna is sitting on the floor in the fetal position in her underwear, to get Al's keys then drive back home, where I can get his car and drive to campus to pick him up. Obviously. Great way to start the day. Like I said, this was an indicator of what the day would hold.

So I pick Al up and we're headed downtown. Just downtown, no address, no phone numbers. On a wild goose chase, except for ducklings not gooslings... We're feeling Chinatown so that's where we go. We survive ghetto ass South Central and get to Chinatown and start asking around. Only in Chinatown, everyone is actually Chinese... who knew? So, I try to talk to all kinds of Chinamen before we finally see some white people so we pull over to ask them... oh wait, they're German tourists. Effin-A, cotton. Finally, we find a Chinawoman who speaks English, except that Al just about runs her ass over... Another sign. Are you seeing the pattern?

So she says "oh titwightowndatreet" and we're amped. Except we have to turn right and when we do we see the live poultry place with a duck and a chicken on their sign. Double amped. We park (next to the sign that says they aren't responsible when someone beats your ass and jacks your shit) and go inside. Of course, we're the only white people that have ever been in the place, and I'm a foot taller than everyone. Love it. Get to the front and find out they have ducks but no live ones. False advertisement. Better Business Bureau will be getting a call.

So we turn around and go to where that-one-lady-Al-almost-killed told us to go, and end up finding some parking at a meter. Pop in some change, good to go. Then some other Chinawoman comes at us talking gibberish about parking and we just kinda blow it off like yeah, we parked, we're good thanks. Another sign we missed. Glorious. So we go into this place, check out some samurai swords and ninja stars and all kinds of other useless crap and get directions to the pet store. Yes. Ducklings not far away. We walk a couple shops down and find the pet store. YES. We did it. Only we get to the duckling and baby chick cage and they're all out of ducklings. SOB's. So we talk to Hung, that's the guys name (and I highly doubt it's a pun), but he says next week I get my ducks. Hmm, fine. At least we found where they'll be. I try to convince Al to get some little chicks in the mean time cause they're 2 for $5 and cute as hell, but he talks me out of it. Apparently chicks turn into chickens.

We go back toward the car and decide we're going in the Chinamarket cause we have time left on the meter. I buy some new Kanye's, Al looks at cell phone crap, and we leave. Only, we leave to where the car used to be. Yes, USED to be. Apparently your car gets rolled on if it's there after 3. 'But you had time left on the meter' you're thinking... yeah, apparently that doesn't matter in this gay ass city. So, we're effed in the g-a. Al chucks his coke, I yell an f-bomb or two, and we start trying to figure out how to get the car back.

We finally find the damn phone number after calling about 8 different LA agencies and get the address to the impound. We have less than an hour and a half before they start charging even more money for the stolen car. Dick bags. So naturally, we start trotting the streets of LA like we know where we are going. After about an hour of wandering aimlessly and finding out we have the wrong address, Al's phone dying, along with the GPS in it, we decide were going with the cabby.

We wander another half an hour looking for a damn cab and finally find one and get in. Don't worry, just a $2.65 surcharge plus $.35 for every 1/7th of a mile or 47.5 seconds in the cab. Who comes up with this shit? Honestly. After about a two mile ride we suddenly owe just under $10 to cabby. Get out, pay the man, and go join the rest of the fine citizens who got jacked by some stupid 3pm law.

I don't know if you've ever been to an impound, but it is hell. They won't give us the car because it's registered to Al's dad, not him, and we have to go through all kinds of crap to get it back. Call Al's family, get crapped faxed down, yada yada, yada yada. On a side note: there was this model girl whose car got towed while she was doing a shoot downtown. How unfortunate. Maybe there is a bright side to this day. Nope, find out she's married to a Marine. Thank you for serving sir, my brother is a soldier too; but I'm going to steal your gorgeous 21 year-old wife. I'm not even kidding. I'm going to marry her. She even breaks the 5'8" rule, and I still don't have any hesitation.

Anyways, Al has a Prius and everyone knows you can't tow a hybrid with a normal tow truck, you need a flat bed or it will kill it. Obviously, the towing company didn't know that, you know, cause they're smart like that, and Mother Navarro flips. She's pretty good at it. To make this long ass story a little shorter: we got the car back. Still not sure if the genius towing guys messed up the computer with their brilliance yet, but we'll know soon I'm sure. Still livid from dealing with dick bags, we decide we're going on the duck hunt once again. Only it's rush hour, and we're going the wrong way on the 5. Fail. Turn around, get off, drive down to little Mexico, or wherever the eff we were. Get stared down, pointed at, yada yada. Nope, this pet store is closed. Done with this. Ducks aren't worth putting the life on the line today. After two hours in traffic, we finally get home. Hong Kong Express. Arizona Ice Tea. Couch. 93 Suns - Sonics game with Thunder Dan going off. Done. And. Done.

HEARTBEATS

I love bouncy balls, I love San Francisco, and I love Heartbeats (Jose Gonzalez).

Together they are magic.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?

"I like baseball, movies, good clothes, whiskey, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?"

- John Dillinger, Public Enemies

ONE MORE SHOT

Day-off boredom. You can click it for wallpaper size.

MISSED THE BOAT

So, it's been awhile. I said from the beginning I didn't know how much I'd use this thing; and now that I have a job I don't have 24 free hours every day. Oooh, employment.

It's been an interesting couple weeks processing some stuff - and baking in the sun every afternoon - but it's been good. Good times with friends. Good times at work. Good times at church. And finally, I feel like I know that this is where I am supposed to be. I had a pretty good idea over the last year or so that I needed to get home - to be completely honest, I was starting to hate who I was turning into, and getting almost scared seeing the roads things could have followed - but at the same time I wasn't really positive that I was supposed to be home. It's so easy to fall into this trap of nonsense in LA and Malibu and OC. And it's even easier to write that stuff off as "being young" or "being in college." At least it was for me. By the end of it, I was just sick of it. This coming from someone who always says that I do me, for better or worse, take it or leave it. And while that brings up stuff I would rather ignore and push aside, I'm going with it. And as usual, there's a song on loop in my head relating to all of this. Call it lame, call it cliche, whatever. It is what it is.




While we're on the subject, could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ear's door, but you were always out
Looking towards the future, we were begging for the past
Well we know we had the good things but those never seemed to last
Oh please, just last
Everyone's unhappy, everyone's ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking at somebody else's page
Well nothing ever went quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water, but we used them like a dam

Oh and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh and I'll laugh all the way to hell
Saying, "yes this is a fine promotion"
Oh and I'll laugh all the way to hell

Of course everyone goes crazy over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar, we just used it as a crutch
We were certainly uncertain, at least I'm pretty sure I am
Well we didn't need the water, but we just built that good goddamn

Oh and I know this of myself
I assume as much for other people
Oh and I know this of myself
We've listened to more of life's end gong than the sound of life's sweet bells
Was it ever worth it was there all that much to gain
Well we knew we'd missed the boat and we'd already missed the plane
We didn't read the invite we just danced at our own wake
All our favorites were playing so we could shake shake shake shake shake
Tiny curtains opened and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all them folks
And drifting around on bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we'd truly missed the boat

Oh and we carried it off so well
As if we got a new position
Oh and we own all the tools ourselves
Without the skills to make a show with
Oh what useless tools ourselves