I don't know how I ever lived without you.
March 25, 2010
March 23, 2010
WHATEVER IT IS
When I get bored at work (See: When it rains or is May-August) I generally end up screwing around on my phone. Sometimes it's reading articles, other times playing games, and others blasting away texts and BBMs. Lately, I keep coming back to a conversation I had with a certain someone some random summer day, with the sticking point being: "Let it play out."
Those that know me are more than aware that I am laid back (Unless I'm in a competitive situation. Then forget about it). Sometimes overly so. Like, to a fault. People think I'm lazy. I walk slow, people watch, eat long meals, and love a couch. Love baseball. Love golf. I sit back and relax, because life is no fun stressed all the time.
Despite that, I have a hard time with patience. That doesn't seem to make sense, but I promise it's true. It's just the way I am. When there's something I want, I have a hard time waiting for it. I do whatever I can that I think will help me get it and keep it. I screw a lot of things up that way, but it is what it is.
I think that's where letting it play out comes in. Maybe. But things get realllly interesting the times I try to balance the laid back with the impatience. When I really want something, but want it to come to me. I am used to just letting things come to me, or just going after the things I want. I guess trying to find a balance between the two is my "letting it play out." I am not sure this is right. But I feel like being laid back is not exactly letting things play out so much as it watching them play out. For me, letting things play out means there are still moves to be made (to borrow a line from Kyle), and you can't just sit back and wait. You have to make an effort, build something up, all for the chance that maybe it works.
Anyways, I've decided I suck at it. Whatever it is. I'm pretty certain I know what I want, and it would be real great if it just happened. No moves to be made. No hesitation or reservation. Just going for it.
Those that know me are more than aware that I am laid back (Unless I'm in a competitive situation. Then forget about it). Sometimes overly so. Like, to a fault. People think I'm lazy. I walk slow, people watch, eat long meals, and love a couch. Love baseball. Love golf. I sit back and relax, because life is no fun stressed all the time.
Despite that, I have a hard time with patience. That doesn't seem to make sense, but I promise it's true. It's just the way I am. When there's something I want, I have a hard time waiting for it. I do whatever I can that I think will help me get it and keep it. I screw a lot of things up that way, but it is what it is.
I think that's where letting it play out comes in. Maybe. But things get realllly interesting the times I try to balance the laid back with the impatience. When I really want something, but want it to come to me. I am used to just letting things come to me, or just going after the things I want. I guess trying to find a balance between the two is my "letting it play out." I am not sure this is right. But I feel like being laid back is not exactly letting things play out so much as it watching them play out. For me, letting things play out means there are still moves to be made (to borrow a line from Kyle), and you can't just sit back and wait. You have to make an effort, build something up, all for the chance that maybe it works.
Anyways, I've decided I suck at it. Whatever it is. I'm pretty certain I know what I want, and it would be real great if it just happened. No moves to be made. No hesitation or reservation. Just going for it.
March 18, 2010
March 15, 2010
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