Some night in early July, I got 'flashed' for supposedly running a red light at Hayden and Indian School in Scottsdale. I have never gotten a ticket in my life, and fancy myself a good driver, so I was a little pissed off to say the least. When the ticket came a couple weeks later it had all the little details including this fun little number: I had fully passed the cross walk and proceeded into the intersection 0.1 seconds after the light turned red. Going a couple under the speed limit. Point #1 - Don't you think if I thought I was going to be remotely close to running the light, I would have picked up the pace a little bit? Do you really think I would have cruised through going under the speed limit? I will speed in your city the rest of my life, Scottsdale, because that 4.3 seconds of yellow required by law definitely was NOT there. I don't give a damn what your computer says. It wasn't. Watch the video you sent me the link to and honestly tell me I was endangering anyone in a COMPLETELY DESERTED INTERSECTION 0.1 SECONDS AFTER A LIGHT TURNED RED. I must be the most aggressive driver on the planet. Point #2 - Learn how to paint a damn crosswalk. Supposedly, it's supposed to be an extension of the accompanying curb. You know, according to your laws and just like every other place in the world. And if you're passed the curb (crosswalk line) when the light turns red (and most likely a tenth of a second afterward), you didn't run the light. Unless you're in Scottsdale, apparently. You should treat one of your native sons better, dumb ass city. From now on, I will be from Phoenix when people ask. Scottsdale no more.
So, when this ticket shows up it says I can go to court and pay them $224, or I can go to "defensive driving school" to apparently learn how to not run red lights/get the ticket off my record. Only $195. Great. Or I can just not pay it, and take my chances of getting served. I chose the last option for about a week, before deciding my dad would inevitably screw it up and accept a ticket for me in the next four months. So, I went to driving school. Driving school, like red light and speeding cameras, is just another money grab that is absolute NONSENSE. Die, both of you. Here are a sampling of questions from my ever-important defensive driving test that supposedly saves lives by educating people -
Obviously, a key to being a good defensive driver is eating carrots. Who knew?
A telegraph machine? For real?
Hmm, imagine that.
Yes, I paid $195 for this. And the best part, there are about 20 different sections of the test with questions like this. It takes all of 12 seconds to answer the three or four questions at the end of a section - without reading the section, I might add - so you would think it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Except that you have to spend an arbitrary amount of time "studying" their supposedly pertinent tidbits to driving safety. Take 12 seconds to answer common sense questions that my dog could answer... wait 13 minutes and 48 seconds until I can move on to the next section. Take 23 seconds to answer common sense questions that your dog could answer... wait 18 minutes and 37 seconds til the next awesome section. For. Five. Effing. Hours.
Oh, and when you get so stoked you're done with that crap and click on the link to take the "final exam" and be done? You get to print off a receipt for your local UPS Store and go pay them more money to use their computer to take the final exam while being "supervised." By the UPS man. Just in case the whole process wasn't inconvenient enough already.
Do not pay these people a dime. Make them find you and serve you; and if they do, go bitch at someone for this nonsense. Stick to your guns.
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